don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
