I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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