Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
