what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
