My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
