im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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