I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
