Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We left the knife in your bed.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
