if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
