it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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