For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
