Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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