You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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