with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
