If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
