i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
