i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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