She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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