I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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