That's when you crack a 10am beer
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
