found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
