tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
