i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
