Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
