someone threw a dead crab at me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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