i need an iv and a liver transplant
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize