Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
