Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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