he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm too high and old for this...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize