he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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