Betty ford says i'm here all night
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize