i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
