His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We need to get me chipped asap
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
