Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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