So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
