You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
