girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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