Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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