i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
