You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
