She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
