I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
