Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
