So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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