Too much gin, very little bucket
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
