You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
