She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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