Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
