just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
