he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Help. Why am I so naked?
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