put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
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He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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