i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
