She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
