I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize