ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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