the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He passed out mid-signature
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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