I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
