he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You ruined the universe
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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