I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
