oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize