Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
