Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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