As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
