2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
