Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What a fucking waste of an outfit
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
