You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
