I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
