well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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