watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
